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Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality
Virginity Pledges >> STDs
Source: Sexual Intelligence; Issue #62
If you've ever promised yourself you'd stay away from something and did it
anyway, this will come as no surprise: the abstinence vows and virginity pledges
made by high school and college students get broken. A lot. The latest twist is
that these kids are putting themselves at higher risk of STDs.
A study of 12,000 adolescents in the April Journal of Adolescent Health
documents what sex education proponents have been saying for years: teens who
pledge to remain virgins until marriage are more likely to take chances with
other kinds of sex. The report by Yale and Columbia University researchers
reveals that teens who pledge abstinence:
* are more likely to have oral and anal sex than other teens who have not had
intercourse;
* are just as likely to have STDs as their non-abstinent peers;
* if they're boys and haven't had intercourse, are 4 times more likely to have
had anal sex;
* are 6 times more likely to have oral sex than teens who have remained
abstinent but not as part of a pledge;
* are less likely to use condoms during their first sexual experience;
* are less likely to get tested for STDs, or to know their STD status.
Kids who pledge abstinence are told that they're bad if they have sex. Thus,
they refuse to prepare for it, and are less equipped to cope with it or its
aftermath. They are torn between the power of their sexual interests and the
desire to be a good person (as defined by the abstinence curriculum). Lacking
decision-making skills or real knowledge to lean on, they simplistically decide
that non-intercourse sex isn't sex. This allows them to have their (abstinence)
cake and eat their (pleasure) cake, too.
Leslee Unruh, president of the National Abstinence Clearinghouse, called the
scientific study "bogus," disputing that those involved had pledged true
'abstinence.' "Kids who pledge abstinence are taught that any word that has
'sex' in it is considered a sexual activity," Unruh said. "Therefore oral sex is
sex, and they are staying away."
What the abstinence crowd stubbornly refuses to accept is that this is what
'abstinence' looks like to a 15-year-old: stretching the rules. Making
"mistakes." "Forgetting." "One thing led to another." "But we were in love." As
we've said before (#27, 42), it's why abstinence is not the perfectly reliable
method our government claims it is. 'Abstinence' as an abstract concept is
totally different than abstinence the method in real life situations. Kids
aren't abstractions--they're real people making real decisions in complex
circumstances. 'Abstinence' doesn't equip them to make these decisions. Just
like people who use the rhythm method are called parents, kids who use
abstinence are called sexually active. 88% of teens who pledge abstinence have
sex before marriage.
This study, by the way, is science at its finest. It details a truth at variance
with many people's "common sense." It shows how one public policy--abstinence
programs--leads to an unwanted public outcome--increased STDs. It's a great
rebuttal to anyone (like our Congress) who says we don't need sexual science.
Speaking of being out of touch with reality, your federal government just posted
a website (www.4parents.gov) designed to help parents prevent their teens from
having sex. It's laden with one-sided values, contains expressions like "unborn
child," and features inaccurate information, such as a major link between
abortion and infertility. It's like the grownup version of the inaccurate
federally-funded sex education curricula criticized by Congressman Waxman (#59).
But Secretary of Health and Human Services Michael Leavitt says the website is
on target, "designed for parents who are embarrassed about talking with their
children about sex."
His response to the concerns of physician groups and others is to defend
abstinence. He says that with abstinence, teens don't have to worry about STDs
and pregnancy. What he doesn't seem to understand is that teens already don't
worry--they're teens. They certainly don't worry during moments of passion,
love, or peer pressure--the same way many adults respond.
Let's invite the government to prove its sincerity. Statistics tell us at least
half the nation's married governors, senators, mayors, and Cabinet members had
sex before they married. We invite each of them to stand up and say "I regret
having premarital sex"--if, of course, they mean it.
You may quote anything herein for personal, non-commercial use only, with this
attribution:
"Reprinted from Sexual Intelligence, ©Marty Klein, Ph.D. (www.SexEd.org)."
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